Washington, D.C. — In a move that’s left historians, architects, and government officials stunned, former President Donald Trump was reportedly seen personally operating a bulldozer on the White House lawn early Tuesday morning. Eyewitnesses claim he was “smiling ear to ear” as he began demolishing parts of the East Wing to make room for what insiders are calling the ‘Presidential Party Palace’ — a $250 million ballroom “bigger and classier than anything in history.”
According to unverified sources, the lavish project includes gold-plated chandeliers, a retractable dance floor, and “the best disco lighting anyone’s ever seen.” One anonymous staffer claimed the former president plans to host “exclusive rallies, weddings, and maybe a few reality TV tapings” once the construction is complete.
Federal preservation officials have allegedly not granted approval for the project. “We didn’t even know there was a demolition permit,” said one bewildered National Park Service representative. “You can’t just tear down part of a national landmark — not even if you used to live there.”
When reached for comment, Trump reportedly said, “Everyone’s going to love it. People are saying it’s the most beautiful ballroom ever built — maybe even more beautiful than Mar-a-Lago.”
Construction crews on site refused to confirm who hired them, though one worker was overheard saying, “Hey, he paid in cash.”
